A Pity Party and Pants that Fit

Last week I was a bit down in the dumps.  From a purely rational standpoint, I perfectly understand what was going on.  As I’ve posted about previously, my routine  mammogram (in October) showed some unusual cells.  The cells were removed via a needle biopsy, and the surrounding tissue was removed during an outpatient lumpectomy surgery.  The cells were not cancerous, nor were they pre-cancerous.  All GREAT news! Nevertheless, this surgery, plus a previous surgery, plus the fact that my mother had breast cancer  put me at a really high risk for breast cancer (40% lifetime chance vs. 10%).  The oncologist suggested that  I consider taking hormone therapy (tamoxifen) as a preventative.  It has been shown to reduce a person’s risk by 50%.  But….there are side effects.  I was  scared to try it, but considering the scarier prospect of breast cancer, I obviously decided to try it.

One of the known side effects is depression.  Another is sleep disruption.  As I am getting acclimated to this drug, I have been experiencing these side effects (among others…which I won’t bore you with). The depression part is a bit weird.  It will be pretty intense for about 90 minutes…then gone!  (BTW this week it is all gone).

Anyway, last week I had the sadness thing plus the sleep disruption.  On Tuesday I was awake at 3:00 am with no possibility of going back to sleep.  Eventually I got up and went outside for a run in the dark–all the while feeling sorry for myself.  WHINE WHINE WHINE were the only thoughts running through my head when suddenly a beautiful flash of blue/green light flashed across the sky.  A meteor!!  I took the meteor as a sign to BUCK UP and stop being such a baby (and I did)!  Later I googled the meteor.  It was part of the Geminid Meteor Shower.


I didn’t take this picture, but this is what it looked like

So the other action that I took to reverse my sadness last week was retail therapy.  Generally, I don’t enjoy shopping b/c it makes me feel guilty to spend money on myself.  However, one of the side benefits of my second job (at a women’s clothing chain store) is getting to shop at the company store.  Everything there is $2-$15 except the leather jackets and skirts which are $20!  I hadn’t been in a while, but thought I’d go to holiday (and self) shop.

For the past several months, I have cut my wine consumption down from 2 glasses a night to 1 a week.  I did this b/c I found it was easier to get up early for my run.  An unintended consequence was that I lost 8 pounds!! But now my pants haven’t been fitting.  Most of the weight went from my belly and rear end, and my pants have become droopy.  I have been constantly hitching up my saggy pants like a hill billy!

droopy pants

The crotch of my current pants are down to my knees! And not in a stylish way!

But, for $5 a pop, I was able to buy some pants that actually fit!! Amazing how wearing pants that fit can change your  whole outlook!  I guess its the little things!

So, after my Tuesday pity party, things have been pretty good.  Hope you are having a great week so far!

Today I am trying a link up for the Weekly Wrap hosted by Holly @ HoHoRuns and Tricia @ MissSippiPiddlin.   See rules here. Thank you ladies!



13 thoughts on “A Pity Party and Pants that Fit

  1. neveradullbling

    Tamoxifen, that sucks, I’m sorry. Glad the side effects are starting to run their course now. You’ve done well to come back with a renewed sense of positivity! And thankfully you’re happy just in time to have a fun and cheery holiday week!! Hope it goes well!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. niki

    Wow! What an impressive way to deal with insomnia! (The 3am run). That’s not whining or self-pitying. That’s facing what’s being thrown at u HEAD on. Hope things continue to improve. Enjoy your new trousers 🙂 (I’m sorry- I just can’t bring myself to call them pants. Pants are an altogether different thing here…. 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca Royy Post author

      Thanks! but I didn’t actually get out there at 3…it was more like 4:30. And I’ve got to ask — what do pants mean to you?


  3. HoHo Runs

    I saw a meteor on a early Tuesday morning run last week! I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I was born with the Guilty Shopping gene. I had a little retail therapy yesterday, but I’ll end up taking most of it back if I feel it’s not PERFECT. Hopefully your side effects will lesson as you get accustomed to your new medication. The most important thing is your biopsy and lumpectomy returned great news. Thanks for linking Rebecca. Merry Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca Royy Post author

      Wasn’t the meteor beautiful? I’ll bet we saw the same one! My son said he saw 2 on last Monday… So all part of the meteor shower.

      Guilty shopping gene! I like that one!!

      And thanks on the side effects… They are much better this week. I definitely have NOTHING to complain about!

      Thanks for the link up and Merry Christmas to you too!



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